It was a new beginning, or so it felt. With my little motivation in 2017, I went out and purchased a whole new inventory with the money I had earned from the closing out sale. For a moment of time, I was happy and excited placing that order, but it wasn’t too long before I had realized, I didn’t let my mind and body fully heal.
Running with the little motivation, I began to sell my new inventory, attempting to attack all duties all at once, instead of building from the ground up like my first open. I instantly threw into my head okay, you need to count your inventory, take all pictures, list everything to Etsy, keep drafts of photos for your Instagram, have shipping supplies ready to go, think of and create something new that has never been seen before, "DO EVERYTHING ASAP ALL AT ONCE!" My head was screaming at me. And of course, how could that not overwhelm someone. Especially when you’re going to school full time and working part time.
It wasn’t long until I broke down again and had the same out come of chapter one. Everything just felt like it fell all over me. My mind kept telling me, "This is not for you obviously, why do you continue to try?" While my heart is screaming at me getting drowned by the yelling in my head, "Stay! Be slow. Be patient. This is what you love, just take your time, everything will fall into place. Let the universe do it’s work." Unfortunately, my mind won this internal yelling battle and I broke down and lost all power again. Again, I failed to send out packages and I didn’t even have a proper closing out sale, I kind of just, stopped.
It was painful. My mind making me feel as though I was going down the wrong path even though it made me happy. I stopped selling because I let depression win. And that is a fight I did not want to loose, but sadly fell into. But my heart, I could hear it just ever so slightly, "It’s okay. It’s okay to loose sometimes, just take your time, rest your body. You’ll get back up. You may not know exactly when. But you’ll get there. You’ll be happy again, I promise you." And that little whisper is what kept me going.
Now, a full year later, not a few months, feeling completely reenergized and clear minded, I feel as though I am well healed and ready to come back stronger than ever. I’ll give myself deadlines I can actually complete and that are actually possible while I’m still working and going to school. And I hope you can all understand that. I am now fully here and aware, learning each and every day. I’m here to grow and to grow with you if you allow it. If so, welcome to Chapter 3: The Journey